We’re Bob and Luke. We’ve been together since 2008. It took us only a week-and-a-half of dating in college to say “I love you.” It took just nine months of dating to get engaged and decide to commit the rest of our lives to each other. It took less than two years of being together before we made it “I do,” black-tie official. And, as we close in on nearly 15 years married, it’s kind of wild to think that the conversation of parenthood — our deep-rooted desire to one day have a family… started on our second date.
That’s right. We’ve been determined to be dads since we were a spry respective 21 and 20 years old, posted up in my college house’s basement on a futon mattress on the floor watching A Bug’s Life.
And, sure, our wistfulness and goals have morphed, shifted and evolved since then — I was certain I’d be an international print journalist by now and Bob thought he’d be stomping the boards six days a week in Manhattan. In reality, in the decades since, we’ve stayed put — planting roots here in the city where we met and building a community we never anticipated.
But that whole family thing? It’s stood the test of time. It’s the thing that never went away.
We’ve watched friends, family and loved ones find their people, make homes, start their own families and cheer us along from the sidelines. But parenthood just hasn’t been in the cards for us.
For one, we’re two men. (A minor hurdle.)
For two, our adoption journey has been one of predominantly waiting, hoping and heartbreak.
But five-plus years on from beginning our often fruitless adoption process, it’s time for phase two. Bob and I are embarking on a new parenthood path — one that comes with its own host of uncertainties, overwhelming odds and financial obstacles. Surrogacy. An option we never thought was in the cards for us, but our last hope for fulfilling that decades-long dream of having a child together.
After what feels like a lifetime together as a couple, we wanted to share. Offer up a piece of who we are to give a glimpse of what this journey has been and will continue to be like for us. (It turns out, we’re pretty private people, particularly when it comes to aspects of life that can offer as much pain as reward… like family planning.)
So join us on this journey. We’ll post updates, share who we are as a couple and document our story for future baby. We know surrogacy isn’t the type of thing “normals” like us can typically pull off, so any support — financial, moral, advisory or otherwise — is monumentally appreciated.
We’re firm believers in villages. Welcome to ours.
Bob and Luke and a Baby 